My confidence is not from outside
Hey, I have been working on other things...
At times, people point out the way I don't take care of myself, like the way my hair, eyes and cheeks look like. I am not proud of that fact but confident enough to say I don't care how I look. It is easy to say than done. I have practiced that.
I don't care how I look when people video call me. What are you looking? How can I look better? I am sitting home, doing my stuff and building my own self which might not visible to you. No, I have not been working on my body. And most of the time, I neglected it. Not that I didn't care, but my priority was different. I was working on my inner self. I was figuring out the way I was. It doesn't mean that I didn't do anything to keep myself look good. I always made sure that I am presentable. Might not be the way others might want, yet, it was never objectionable, I am sure about that. So, stop judging me. No, not for me. I don't care about what you think about me and your judgement. It does not affect me. I don't ask for complement on my appearance. Even when people do, I feel awkward. It is good when some point out certain things about you and appreciate you for that. But I can do even without that.
When I sit home, I am home and engaged in stuffs that I love to do and then I am not bothered how I may look like if someone watches or observes me. I am me, at least I am trying to be more of me without thinking about the way how it is. It is a beautiful feeling and I am in love with that engagement and involvement. Others might not understand what I am at.
I am writing this down not because I want you to stop talking about it to me. But to just let you know why and how I see it. Even if you tell me again and again about the same thing, I won't do what you say and abide those unless and until I feel the necessity or feel like doing it on my own. Not because it is bad. I don't know it is good or bad. I don't know. It may seem good to some and bad to some others. But I am seeing it beyond that. It is all about the priority you set at that very point of time and not for life long. So, when you point out, I want to remind you that you are unaware of the things I do, things I go through, what I am at, what I have been doing and why I am doing it. I don't want to spell it out but yes, when you see me looking-like not the proper way you want me to- done with all hair and stuff, stop teasing with the number of probable reasons and stop trying that way to make me do it. You will get disappointed because, I won't. I don't have Shame regarding this. If you don't want to see me this way, stop the ways to reach me in those times. And start accepting the way it is. Either start accepting the way I am or stop reaching out. Either way, I don't have any issues. The choice is yours. No, I am not angry. But I am typing down this so that I want to let you know the fact that it is different for different people; the priorities of the things they do which alters all the time. Yes, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is all about the way you perceive, what and how you look at things around you. Open your eyes and start seeing the things which makes no noise or shower bright colour. If you are not understanding, simply ask them about it, like what were you doing or what are you thinking or how are you feeling? It is that simple. Do that. In that way, you will understand them better and they feel loved and understood by someone they didn't expect. So, do that. It will bring a change both in your and their lives.
I am not going to change, because, I am comfortable this way. I am comfortable even when you tell these things. I do take care of myself. I feel to do so. I do things when I feel to do so from within. I don't take external pressure to guide me in whatever way possible. I do things like exercises, fitness workouts if I feel it as necessary. And I let it go when I feel lazy or when my preferences change. So, I get in shape and let it go even within days. And I am not ashamed of it. At the end of the day, I want to be myself and have to be in peace with it.
What is the issue if I am comfortable this way with you, is it not a good thing and way to be?
At times, people point out the way I don't take care of myself, like the way my hair, eyes and cheeks look like. I am not proud of that fact but confident enough to say I don't care how I look. It is easy to say than done. I have practiced that.
I don't care how I look when people video call me. What are you looking? How can I look better? I am sitting home, doing my stuff and building my own self which might not visible to you. No, I have not been working on my body. And most of the time, I neglected it. Not that I didn't care, but my priority was different. I was working on my inner self. I was figuring out the way I was. It doesn't mean that I didn't do anything to keep myself look good. I always made sure that I am presentable. Might not be the way others might want, yet, it was never objectionable, I am sure about that. So, stop judging me. No, not for me. I don't care about what you think about me and your judgement. It does not affect me. I don't ask for complement on my appearance. Even when people do, I feel awkward. It is good when some point out certain things about you and appreciate you for that. But I can do even without that.
When I sit home, I am home and engaged in stuffs that I love to do and then I am not bothered how I may look like if someone watches or observes me. I am me, at least I am trying to be more of me without thinking about the way how it is. It is a beautiful feeling and I am in love with that engagement and involvement. Others might not understand what I am at.
I am writing this down not because I want you to stop talking about it to me. But to just let you know why and how I see it. Even if you tell me again and again about the same thing, I won't do what you say and abide those unless and until I feel the necessity or feel like doing it on my own. Not because it is bad. I don't know it is good or bad. I don't know. It may seem good to some and bad to some others. But I am seeing it beyond that. It is all about the priority you set at that very point of time and not for life long. So, when you point out, I want to remind you that you are unaware of the things I do, things I go through, what I am at, what I have been doing and why I am doing it. I don't want to spell it out but yes, when you see me looking-like not the proper way you want me to- done with all hair and stuff, stop teasing with the number of probable reasons and stop trying that way to make me do it. You will get disappointed because, I won't. I don't have Shame regarding this. If you don't want to see me this way, stop the ways to reach me in those times. And start accepting the way it is. Either start accepting the way I am or stop reaching out. Either way, I don't have any issues. The choice is yours. No, I am not angry. But I am typing down this so that I want to let you know the fact that it is different for different people; the priorities of the things they do which alters all the time. Yes, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is all about the way you perceive, what and how you look at things around you. Open your eyes and start seeing the things which makes no noise or shower bright colour. If you are not understanding, simply ask them about it, like what were you doing or what are you thinking or how are you feeling? It is that simple. Do that. In that way, you will understand them better and they feel loved and understood by someone they didn't expect. So, do that. It will bring a change both in your and their lives.
I am not going to change, because, I am comfortable this way. I am comfortable even when you tell these things. I do take care of myself. I feel to do so. I do things when I feel to do so from within. I don't take external pressure to guide me in whatever way possible. I do things like exercises, fitness workouts if I feel it as necessary. And I let it go when I feel lazy or when my preferences change. So, I get in shape and let it go even within days. And I am not ashamed of it. At the end of the day, I want to be myself and have to be in peace with it.
What is the issue if I am comfortable this way with you, is it not a good thing and way to be?
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